I’m sorry. I thought you were the guy who wouldn’t go through my messages, snooping around my shit. Especially after I told you about my past and how much that annoys me, hurts me, and honest to god breaks me down. That’s where I draw the line. You told me you would never be that guy, you would just take my phone to annoy me, but would never go through it because you know what it does to me. However, you had no problem going behind my back while I was in the shower to look through my facebook messages from my ipod. Thats fucking low. That’s betrayal. That’s seriously you not trusting me, and you thought I wouldn’t figure it out? I’m not fucking dumb. You shattered me. You just broke any respect I had for you, because you know exactly how i feel about this kind of shit. I don’t know who you think you are, but this is why I’m not in love with you, and that moment just seriously made my fucking day. That told me we shouldn’t be together. So don’t be expecting much from me. This relationship is exhausting and thats not at all how it should be. I’ve had enough of you and your immature bullshit. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m done. You honestly just ruined every last fighting chance we had.
I want a boyfriend who won’t make me feel like shit about my past. Someone who wants to uplift me and fight against every negative word that comes out of my mouth. Someone who won’t judge my past, someone who will take the razor out of my hand and never let me cut again. Tell me I’m beautiful, hold my hand, make me feel like I deserve to live. I shouldn’t have to be sitting here every other night fighting the urge to cut because you piss me off and make me feel like shit. I want to be more to someone than just a sex object. I seriously cannot take this anymore and I’d rather die. I’d rather be with my grandfather who I know loves me. I shouldn’t have to die tears. fuck. i shouldn’t have tears to hide. I want to be a happy girl. Whyyy is that so much to ask for?
